First "be" attitude
Be myself.
This is the hardest "be" attitude I could have possibly set for myself. Being myself would require that I meet everyone's expectations, never disappoint, never get burned out, always say yes and be willing to help.
I need a new definition of being myself, then. I need to define the things that are me.
I like:
- a few sports (football and baseball namely)
- writing (anything)
- singing (anything)
- acting (anything, even charades)
- reading (magazines, self-help, thrillers and teen books)
- exercising on the elliptical trainer
- walking from the train station to work
- karaoke
- board and card games
- listening to music
- dancing
- socializing
- organizing
- coming up with ideas
- being in my comfort zone
- feeling in control
- sleeping
- attention from people I'm not close to
- exotic/rare vacations
- time to myself
I don't like:
- weight training
- watching more than one movie per day (unless I really like the 2nd movie)
- drinking soda (anymore)
- implementing ideas
- having to socialize with people I don't know
- being taken OUT of my comfort zone
- feeling like I'm at a disadvantage
- having to watch my weight
- having to control my eating portions
- learning how to swim
- flying
- outdoorsy stuff except for the beach
Inspired by a journal entry from Livejournal, I realize that what the author says is very true of me as well:
"As I'm trying to FIX myself, I'm having a difficult time finding ME.... I can't be addicted to healthy eating/exercise... And I'm not just saying I can't, I'm saying that is not who I am. All this time, I thought I was a failure because I could not accomplish these goals... I could not become these things that I thought I was supposed to be. Now I see, it isn't about failure. It's about finding who I am." — myownrendition
Now, as I learn to "be myself," I have to remain true to the things I've identified. I'm usually open to new things but sometimes I'll pretend to be interested in something just to make a new friend or I'll pretend to have general knowledge so I don't look stupid. Being true to myself means admitting that I don't know everything and that I don't like everything.
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